Well when I was a kid I would take a trip
every Summer down to "Mississipp," to visit
my Granny and 'er "Auntie Belluam World."
I'd run barefooted all-day long, climbing
trees free as a song; One day I happened
to catch myself a squirrel.
Well I stuffed him down
in an old shoe box, and punched a couple
holes in the top; When Sunday came I snuck em'
in the Church. I sittin' way back on the very
last pew showin em' to my good buddy Hugh,
when that squirrel got loose and went totally
Well what happened next is hard to tell;
some thought it was Heaven others thought
it was Hell, but the fact that something was
among was plain to see.
As the choir sang " I Surrender All", the
squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls, and
Harv leaped to his feet and said something's got
a hold on me yeeeooow!
The day the squirrel went buzzerk in the
First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little
town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival
that broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews
and shoutin' "Hallelujah".
Well Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'.
Some thought he had Religion others thought
he had a demon, and Harv thought he had a
weed-eater loose in his fruit-of-the-looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and the
squirrel ran out of his britchy-leg; unobserved
to the otherside of the room.
All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat
"Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been
watching all of the commotion with sufistic glee.
But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes
when that squirrel jumped her garders and crossed her
thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said,"Lord have
mercy on me."
As that squirrel mad laps inside her dress she began to
cry and then to confess, to sins that would make a
sailor blush with shame. She told of gossip, and church
desention, but thing that got the most attention was when
she told of her Love Life and then she Started naming names.
Well seven Deacons and then the Pastor got saved, and
twenty-five thousand dollars got raised, and fifty
volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot.
And even without an invitation there were at least
five hundred rededications, and we all got
rebaptized whether we needed it or not.
Now you've heard the Bible stories I guess of how he parted
the waters for Moses to pass. Oh the Miracles, God has
wraught in this old world. But the one I'll remember till my
dying day is when He put that church back on the narrow way
with a half crazed Mississippi squirrel.